Relationships we have in life, are an integral part of molding us into the people we are. Thinking back, in the past fifteen years, relationships I have been in have definitely made who I am. You’re all doing the math, hmm… let me save you time. I had my first relationship (not sure you can really call it one), it was more like an adventure when I was fifteen.
To the boy who made me independent
I say boy, but of course, he is a man now. My first boyfriend. That relationship (adventure) was a turbulent and very dependent one. I had just gotten to a new school in England, did not know anyone there or my way around the grounds for that matter. So, my survival instincts kicked in and I looked for protection, or simply someone I can rely and depend on. He was a popular boy, played all the sports he needed to to get him there. His height was… a disadvantage should I say. At the time, we were at school and didn’t really understand the real world. We stayed together for two troublesome years, and it was only until I was nearing graduation that I thought there would be no way for us to stay together beyond school as we were very different people. I did not mean that in a good way, he was just too full on for me. I was all into exploring the world and he was more like, ready to settle and not go anywhere, so that was just not for me. I slowly learned to be independent during our relationship, and from it I got more and more resilient to the soceity we live in.
To the man who made me strong
I can’t even begin to write about this man, or child that he will forever be. I am a sucker for these underpriveldged men, people who need someone to look after them, I’m funny like that. As my mother always said, I have to really stop picking up lost souls. This particular man treated girls like a change of clothes. No one was special enough for him to keep let alone spend some quality time with. He made me very strong. I began to understand, even in our short relationship that I am capable of doing a lot of things in life myself and that I did not need a man to be accomplished. During our relationship I started my first business, and created my first brand, both are still very much going simply because of my passion and my strength.
To the man who taught me how to let go
Many people tell you, as long as you know how to let sadness, hatred and anger go, life will suddenly become a breeze. Well, when you’re a teenager those three things were like breakfast, it happened everyday. So, for me, to have learnt how to let feelings and attachment go at that age, I think moulded me a lot into who I am and how I deal with things today. As long as I’m satisfied with the result, I found a way to let things go, let my rage go and get on with life. Trust me, this is a skill everyone should hone through out life.
To the girl who diminished my curiousity
I don’t believe that all girls were curious once, because honestly, some were just not. Well, I am curious by nature. So, there I was faced with a situation where an attractive girl told me she had feelings of more than friendship for me. I was curious, so we sort of started an exclusive friendship, in which we went out on dates. I just call it a very strong friendship, not sure what she feels about it, or even is okay with me going public regarding the matter. She is married now, with kids, just like I am. I guess, this in a way diminished my curiousity. In this i realised I can never date women, just becasue we are too similar in our emotional states, our feelings and the way we bring our brudens and stress back home into our private lives. Those short three months are extremely memorable because I remember all the emotions going through her flowing into my already chaotic life and it was just unbarable.
To the foreign man
There I was, on my year working abroad in Italy. I met a man, very different from myself, a heavy metal band rocker. I know, why? Well, I have no idea. He was interesting, and found me interesting. So, there we were strolling through the evening breeze of ponte vechhio. There is where I realised I could never survive a long distance relationship. This was my first and only long distance relationship, because I admit, I suck at it.
To the man who gave me my beautiful Elle
A lot of you may not know this yet, but Elle and I was alone, just the two of us. Elle was the result of my carelessness with a man who I thought I could have more with. I was young and stupid is the best way to put this. Having said that, Elle is the best thing that ever happened to me, she is a gift from somewhere out there, sent here to show me that I am a great mother, here to raise beautiful children and teach them knowledge that we gain through life. So, thank you, to the man that accidentally became the father of my child. She is beautiful by the way.
To the man who showed me what love is
Love is a very complicated, yet easy to missunderstand entity. I thought, for all the previous relationships I was in love, until I met this man. I realised that this was what love is. Love, to me is basically the ability to wish good for a person unconditionally. We fell head over heels for eachother, and had an amazing two years together. The topic of marriage and a lifelong commitment came up, and I made a promise to this man that I will always try to be happy, no matter where life takes me. I realised with this man that as long as he was happy too, he did not have to be in a relationship with me. There it was, he showed me he would be happier elsewhere, and I used my letting go skills and let the fish back into the ocean and moved on.
There they are, the relationships I believe led me to this day, to who I am. Now, I gain new feelings and knowledge everyday being in the relationship of a lifetime, marriage.
To the man that satisfies my curiousity
Yes, finally, we are at Mr. Pang, my amazing husband. People ask me what made you decide to marry this particular man. Well, it is actually because he never fails to satisfy my curiousity. He always shows a new part of himself through our life together, his emotions and feelings change all the time. I am curious about him, eventhough I spend everyday with him. He is the sort of man I imagined to start a family with, someone who has strong family values over wealth, greed, confidence. I love him because I believe, truly, he was made for me.