Feeling slightly grey

I wonder why is it called feeling “grey” when you’re just a little bit defeated? Today, of all days, I am feeling slightly grey. Things with my relocation is just not going very well. It’s actually something very small that triggers my sudden feeling of being depressed. We had been organising broadband for the apartment, and today when we found out we won’t be able to get the faster line simply because we are unable to give written consent for the company to drill a hole in our living room to connect some cables did it for me. I just would have thought things like this, Mr. Pang would be able to handle.
I was being super unfair to him with my judgemental comments because he, unlike me hasn’t rented much in the UK, and have no previous experience in dealing with new broadband contracts and negotiating packages. So, here I am, sulking in our bedroom. I am typing away, unleashing all my frustration that has simply been building up for the past few months all onto this post. I feel sorry for my keyboard to be honest, it has done nothing wrong yet it is here baring all the hate.
 
For the past six months we have been sorting out a school for Elle, a place to live for the four of us, sorting out student visas, and trying our best to get on with life as well. To be honest, because we have not been able to really settle in and have our own place sorted out, I have been very out of my comfort zone, and today, it was just a line being crossed more than anything. I am sitting in our bedroom, still reeking of the smell of newly assembled furniture and paint, thinking about all the unkind words I just dumped onto Mr. Pang. I’m just feeling sorry for him, how did a good man like him end up with an annoying wife like me.
To my surprise, he came to comfort me. Instead of telling me off, he came to my emotional rescue and told me he would sort the broadband out.  I don’t know if I could say I was surprised though, he’s always been good like that. Very mellow tempered my husband… Having said that, I really need internet, I know how bad that sounds, but the life of no Netflix, and super bad reception needs to stop soon! I feel I am going into the dark ages and life is just not complete without fast internet and random flicks through Netflix, YouTube and Sky cinema. If the almighty man in charge of internet and broadband could read this, please send me some! LOL… Yes, this is how desperate I am. I just need it to all be sorted out!
 
Who knew this whole relocation thing could be so tough. I am feeling all the more lonely here, with no friends or just very busy friends who have no children, therefore no common ground. I have been trying to make friends at school with other parents, but its just so hard when you’re new. At my age, making friends is just not as easy as it was a decade ago. I don’t want to seem like I’m coming on too strong either, since I’m quite a bit younger than some of the mums at Elle’s school. So, if any of you are reading this, I would appreciate a nice invitation to your coffee mornings or some sort of sporting gathering!
 
Well, I must end my desperate cry for help and get on with my day. You will know more when I know more about when I am closer to being settled into our new home in a new country!


 

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Full time travel writer at Time Magazine ruling my world with my soon to be 3 children and an extremely supportive husband. I write to escape from reality only into a greater, more fulfilling world.

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